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Thanks to you and the Magical Musical Mat™, every minute of my life is now a beeping, squawking, nonstop honking nightmare.
Attempt to wash as baby breakfasts upon me and Mr. Franklin inquires as to where I’ve hidden his double spectacles; point to spectacles on Mr. Franklin’s face.
Justice Is Blind follows Clarence Thomas in his delightfully romantic quest to find his new Billionaire Best Friend Forever.
Atheists say there are no higher powers, but the first time you see a Neptoid’s sponges you’ll realize atheists don’t know shit.
12:30 PM, reads the Faberge Egg clock the CFO gifted me for having such a good PSAT score.
I nodded off for like two seconds and woke up to fresh ink stains on my fingers, and a notary public closing his briefcase and heading out the door.
Jesus Christ brings a robust following as well as the ability to do some pretty amazing things off the court.
Company Softball Team 5000: Play as Herb from Accounting, who has a bad back and will inevitably have to sit out most of the innings.
28.5%: Waitstaff pleased the King by referring to him only as "my lord" or "my goodly liege."
You never know what kind of connections you’ll make. One of these people could be your ex-boyfriend or your current physical therapist.
For the shoes had been created in a supernova by the malevolent god Aernus, and radiated a power that could be worn by no man, let alone a child.
They are also ethically made, but somehow cost $12. These shoes make me look both mature but playful, demure but bold, casual but elegant.