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Fire's just supposed to be a pretty thing you look at sometimes. Like a lava lamp, but it can kill you.
I definitely didn't come up with the flavor profile for this roast after I bought Starburst at a Hudson News in the SeaTac Airport.
This study will ask the big questions like: Are there mice and if so, are they dressed as tiny little country bumpkins?
Neither of us like wasabi, but these are wasabi with cinnamon and pineapple, so I have a feeling the other two flavors will overpower the wasabi.
We revere his gracious power and salute the Bull Terriers before who’ve portrayed his likeness.
No capital letters? Might as well post your Social Security number.
I’m a lover, but that doesn't mean I don’t have boundaries. So I set in place this one simple rule to make sure no one is allowed to disturb me.
Commemorative Wedding Tote Bag: My existence is a joke, just send me to Goodwill so I can reunite with my siblings.
How did my family careen off into straight-to-video action movie territory?
I feel like I know you. The surveillance software used to monitor your workflow has been telling me what a great person you are.
Here’s a better deal for Elon: he can regain esteem, credibility, and respect by buying my status of tenured full professor.
We've accepted the fact that the Corn Maze could no longer compete with technology's draw to hook you to the point that you lose all sense of time.