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Politicians don’t seem like real people, but the terrifying thing is, they are. They’re not the best we’ve got, but they’re the best we’re ever going to get.
We all know that the DVD copy of Animal House that you brought to college was given to you as a present by your younger sister the day before you left.
There's no real easy way to go about this so I'll just come out and say it: I've switched bodies with my 9-year-old son and I don't know what to do about it.
Like the 1992 Men's Olympic Basketball Team, if we take the best parts of every religion to form one "Dream Team Religion," I'd actually consider being a part of that.
In the wake of recent attacks on freedom of speech, we should all take a moment to review what is clearly not acceptable to joke about, no matter how damned funny it is.
Emperor, after you rescued Poland I dreamt of riding by your side and feasting together. But now I shall destroy your empire with my babcia Grazyna's shoe clasp!
When you are fat, death is your closest friend. This week I battled my fat phobias while in Las Vegas, where I ate the biggest, most decadent piece of cake imaginable.
<p>Not all stereotypes of the South are necessarily true. We're not all overweight and stupid, and believe it or not, we don't all vote against our own self-interest. It might even come as surprise that the majority of Southerners have all of their teeth. But we do all have racist grandparents and an unhealthy obsession with college football.</p>
Welcome to another weekly installment of Foodie Favs and Retreats. Join me for this 24-hour record-setting adventure to enjoy all the best pizza the Earth has to offer.
"Jared, thanks for the Gyrados. Remember when we spent all our money on Jelly Bellys just to feel something? Have an existential summer." -Seth
Barbie has evolved into a modern woman who has pursued many jobs and professions, such as Architect Barbie and Doctor Barbie. But Mattel never envisioned these Barbies.
At 29, I am convinced that farts are just as humorous as they were when my father first asked me to pull his finger. May your sense of smell remain just as light-hearted.