Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
And were you born a frigid bitch or did life’s small cruelties mold you into one?
I was shocked to see such vitriol aimed at myself and my new hair enhancement—it’s simply not the CloudMindTech way.
If you’re like me, you also have compassion and empathy. So when you realize the traffic is because of a major collision, you go from frustrated to concerned.
That’s all his bio needs. He is Jackson Pfeiffer, teller of stories. Our raconteur. Our scribe. Our Jackson.
It so happens, and to remind you, I have air conditioning, central air, in my condominium apartment. And Ethel's granddaugher is visiting.
Now it’s time to press that button. She’s watching you, but no pressure. You’ve done this a thousand times before.
I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’m growing it out for a gig. Nothing major, just an acting thing. I assume Jake told you I’m an actor?
The Working Mother of Three: She wakes up at 4:30 AM so that she can squeeze in a ten-miler before taking her kids to school and arriving at the office.
“pizzalover99” is a drooling stoner. “PizzaLover99” is a mensch who commands respect in the boardroom, even with his fly down.
Your first question, of course, must be, "Did we get the appendix out?" Yes. Most of it. Eventually.
Ma’am, your wariness is completely understandable, but I am genuinely asking about whether your refrigerator is operational.
Please, Scrubbies, dry the grease from your eyes. I’ll always be your Scrub Daddy.