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Set aside your worries caused by modern nuisances such as technology, automobiles, and the invention of antiseptics.
“Do we even know if the parents adopted this puppy? What if they stole it? Is this baby even theirs? You can’t believe everything you read online!!”
The theme of my Bar Mitzvah is “Lying awake at night, your face slick with sweat, drowning in a pool of your own despair.”
How'd you do this time? That looks marvelous! Oh, would you look at that: the lead just fell out. How does that even happen?
I don’t understand why no one wants to hire me. I played opposite Annette Benning, for fuck sakes.
I was going to be the highlight of “WAP,” which I assumed stood for something like "warm and pleasant," as it's a perfect description of me.
This movie is about me. But it’s also about love and family and loyalty and Christianity, but don’t say that last part out loud.
Hope everything's been going well for you! I know it's a little bonkers to keep following up, but you did say to keep nudging, so here I am!
I can photograph them from straight away with the bottle centered, straight away with the bottle slightly off-center to the left...
8. The Nephew Whose Whole Thing Is Being Cool: We all went through this phase in high school.
All you have to do is twist me open and plop me on a platter. I'm as easy as they come, sweetheart.
I’m thankful for friendships, romance, love of family--any bond that involves physical contact and is so strong it can supersede self-preservation.