Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
What’s the deal with rattles nowadays? Seems to me like a poor excuse for jangly keys! Oh, wait– can someone bring me a bottle?
While I appreciate your dedication to authenticity, it’s making our battlefields look like the aftermath of Carrie’s prom.
This is going to ruffle a lot of feathers, but when an orange is small, it’s still an orange. I’m talking to you, clementines and mandarins.
It’s not a big deal, even though it kind of is. No problem if not.
What’s going on in that head of yours that’s got you so worked up while we’re just sitting here hate-scrolling through your ex’s Facebook?
What have you been up to during Covid, other than neglecting your split ends, obviously? Did you box dye your hair? I thought so.
First, it’s going to be a little bit longer than we anticipated, only about ten hours or so, but that includes some breaks!
He was licking his scales clean with his tongues, when he looked up, made eye contact with me, and bared his fang. It was love at first sight.
For urgent matters, please reach out to Gary Dilworth, who will bombard me with angry texts in all caps until I respond.
I’m a hip font on an eye-catching background. I’m a cake that says "end white supremacy." I’m a black square.
“On fiscal new year’s eve, there’s no accounting for love.”
Q: Your website says that you’re size inclusive, but you only go up to size L. Are you out of stock of larger sizes?