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First, it’s important that you accept the fact that some things in life cannot be changed.
Meg’s going to spend waaay too much time giving you unnecessary exposition about the morning of said funny story.
I take a moment to appreciate how mindfully the grizzly is stalking me. Such purpose!
And… it has a different shape, from other cities’ pizzas! New York and Chicago are round, Detroit is square, and Phoenix is… star-shaped!
Btw can’t pay you, but will provide you with a new car air freshener. The beavers have a bit of an odor. Not bad, but definitely noticeable.
Only a knowledgeable spiritualist can help you escape the tormented wailing drain voices in your bathroom.
Triumph (Triumphant) wants everyone to know how much she has enjoyed her role in this poem.
Boy meets girl, girl falls for boy and sacrifices everything. How are we supposed to change society if we keep glorifying these shitty images?
Maybe you could just be an accountant who wears a tiara and pets a teacup poodle whilst shoveling through student loan debt for the rest of her life.
If you are caught engaging in coitus during a club meeting, the excuse “but I was just pinging her pong” is far from adequate.
He’s always asked me to watch his new “moves” even before karate classes, but now I can’t help but feel like this display is meant to assert dominance.
Eastsiders recommend the taco place with a questionable sanitation rating but amazing salsas. Westsiders recommend, “I guess, Sugarfish again?”