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I am so tired. So worn down. I don't want to fight this anymore. Please. Send me a bottle of Lavender Serenity, because it's time to give in.
I’ll go put the power washer back in the garage. No more power washing today.
4. Classic from the literary canon that you just happened to casually reread recently. Because, everyone knows, you were an English major.
I’ve been silently scorning them for years and I’m ready to take it up a notch—with a decapitated horse head and powerful pagan curses.
At 1,559 years old, I’m not getting any younger. And a woman has to do what she can to make it through this cold, ice-hard world.
“But is that really just?” pleaded Andiemantus, trying not to scuff his new Manolo Blahnik Mary Jane walking sandals against the cobblestone floor.
Pears have all the qualities you love in an apple, but with a fresh, edgy, devil-may-care attitude.
Isn't it beautiful? Doesn't it make you want to grab your snow-spoon and scoop as much as you can up into your mouth?
Do I look like the life of the party? It took me a solid ninety minutes to work up the nerve to even step out onto the floor!
While I try to have a thick skin about all this, I must admit it’s pretty disturbing when I hear a critic imply that I’m in some way morally culpable for the clients I choose.
The lifeblood of American society, the oil that lubricates its gears and allows the cogs in its national wheel to turn, is cream cheese.
Remember the true meaning of the holiday: Getting some $15 shit from Target and being done with it.