The lifeblood of American society, the oil that lubricates its gears and allows the cogs in its national wheel to turn, is cream cheese.
I eat at dawn. As soon as the sun's crescent pierces the horizon I will eat my dog chow. Or else I will go ape shit.
Our patented "Mega Explosion" technology will detonate into the shape of the Union Jack, then a middle finger, followed by the word “America.”
Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.