Hey man, it’s me, you in 30 minutes. I just got back from that run you’re going back and forth on. I just want to say that you are right, today isn’t the right day for it, tomorrow’s way better. Really regretting it now.

Look at you, sitting there on that couch debating whether you should get your daily cardio, so naive. And trust me dude, I was right where you were sitting, so I hear your arguments loud and clear.

First of all, you definitely can go on an extra-long run tomorrow instead. That’ll more than make up for it if you don’t go today!

And you’re right, it is pretty hot out there today. Who could run in this?

Plus, your shoulder is still a bit off from that skiing thing. Wouldn’t want to re-injure it.

And you only got, like, five and a half hours of sleep last night, and don’t runs just fill you with energy? Won’t that make it even harder to sleep tonight? Might as well get a full night’s rest and get back at it tomorrow.

Anyways, I’m here to tell you that you’re totally right, about all that stuff. You really don’t want any part of this, man.

I mean, sure, I might feel great now, but there were a few minutes there where I was pretty tired. And does this great feeling I have right now outweigh all those drawbacks that you are considering? Not in my opinion.

Okay, yeah, I have a “sense of accomplishment for achieving a small goal” and all that nonsense. But I mean, look at you man, you have the whole world ahead of you. The next 30 minutes are yours. Do you really want to spend that time running around like some try-hard?

And, oh fuck, what time is it? 5:20? Dude, you realize if you go now you’ll miss the first half of King of Queens. Well in that case you can just forget about knowing why Carrie is peeved at Doug in this episode bud. At that point, you might as well just wait for the next episode to start, which won’t be for another fifteen minutes after that.

I’m just saying you’ve got important stuff to do man. Life is all about the here and now, and it’s tough to come to grips with all the stuff I missed in the last 23 minutes. This running stuff is all about weighing the pros and cons, and from where I’m standing I just don’t see how you could justify that.

And imagine this running thing becomes an actual habit? You do know what a habit entails right? That’s not just today bro, that’s every day, that’s like a lifestyle change or something. I don’t have 30 minutes a day for this dude. I have things to do, my schedule is 100% filled with things that are more productive than running and I just can’t spare it.

All I’m saying is think about it. Let’s evaluate your strongest argument: why would you go today when you can just go on an extra-long run tomorrow? What’s the difference between today and tomorrow anyways? Like anyone ever got jacked in one day, yeah right. After all, tomorrow will still be tomorrow tomorrow. So that one can just be straight-up reused.

Anyways bro, I gotta sit down, that run really took a lot out of me. I’m pretty high on endorphins right now too, but you could easily achieve the same thing by cracking a beer.