How to Make Every Interaction About Netflix’s “Tiger King”
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.
Tag: Future
No, You Can’t Be the Leader of Post-Apocalyptic Earth
Buckaroo, it’s time to pack away the silly stuff and focused on what you might actually achieve before the ice caps melt and we have to build an ark.
Due to the Pandemic, Our Hook-Handed Killers Will Now Be Terrorizing Teens Remotely
We will no longer attend and slaughter gatherings of more than 500 people. We will be sanitizing our hooks daily, and of course after each murder.
My Entirely Intellectual and Not at All Emotional Reasons for Watching “The Bachelor”
I’m interested in analyzing the importance of “opening up” via “crying” and how this plays into our fantasies of ideal womanhood.
We at Disney Couldn’t Be Prouder to Show Our Commitment to Representation with 9 More Easily-Missable LGBTQ Characters
This moment in the film may not be noticeable, but you bet your ass we’ll talk about it on the press tour like we threw the first brick at Stonewall!
A Message to All Anti-Vaxxers from an Appreciative Resident in 2320
Measles, schmeasles... which is actually a new form of measles.
New Analytics for Baseball’s Post-Cheating-Scandal Era
xBB/PPInn(Astros-VPonly): Number of beanballs or brushbacks per game vs. Astros hitters thrown by pitchers who pitched against Houston in 2017-19.
Guess What, Survivors of the Viral Apocalypse? My Paper Mask Worked!
And who is left? Just us free-thinking, illogical, hypochondriacs, doomsday preppers, and Hulk lady. So, I'm just gonna go there --I told you so!
List: Human Infant Parenting Tips from the Year 3521
Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!
Join Our Pirate Ship as an Unpaid Pirate Intern, and Gain Valuable Experience on the High Seas!
Be there gold? Nay. Be there jewels? Nay. Be there the 2-3 years of experience required of ye to land an entry-level buccaneering position? Aye.
My Personal Statement Applying to Your Grad Program Because I’m 24 and Not Sure What Else to Do
What I love about education is that it provides the unique opportunity to do my homework instead of having to consider any future plans.
A Statement from One of the Tennis Balls on Harvey Weinstein’s Walker
Well, there was a court in my future, just not the one I had in mind.