After Two Years of Emotional Misdirection, I’m Ready to Propose to the Love of My Life
She thinks I forgot what park it was! We walked by it two months ago and she said “Look! Do you remember?” and I said “What?"
Tag: Future
Cursify: The Sweary Digital Writing Tool
Without Cursify: This is a sentence. With Cursify: This is a fucking sentence. Notice how Cursify creates a more evocative experience for the reader.
White Male Startup Seeking Diverse Board Member for IPO
Whatever kind of minority you are, it would be helpful if you could be very visible about your minority status, at least in company photos.
Sorry I Kicked You Out of the Garden of Eden
In today's social climate, I've learned to not be hasty when judging people because I'm slowly learning that you humans frequently make mistakes.
I’m the Tennis Ball Attached to an Old Man’s Walker
At the very least, I thought I’d live out my days being volleyed over some net in a park by people who considered themselves moderate exercisers.
Just Thought We Should Catch Up! And Maybe See if You’re Satisfied with Your Current Financial Advisor
Been married a couple of times---but don't worry, I'm a free man again! And I guess the main thing is that I started working at Odysseus Financial.
I Am a Character in a Dystopian Novel, and I Think Your World Kind of Sucks
To be fair, at least you know your “vote” counts as much as everyone else’s, whereas in our system---Wait, the electoral what?!
Quiz: Do You Want to Marry Him or Do You Just Want His Mother to Ruin the Next 25 Years of Your Life?
You hope to start a family because... A) You want to have babies with him. B) You want to raise your children under her shadow government.
Where Are They Now: Characters from Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”
The couple that endured Rain On Their Wedding Day realized mid-Hawaiian-honeymoon that they never discussed having children.
An Ode to the Lost Week
Maybe you’ve returned to your normal life and are back at work, arriving to a ghost town at 10 AM, taking a two-hour lunch, and leaving by 3 PM.
From the Spider on Your Dashboard, with Love
At first, I was frightened of you, unsure of your intentions, and your driving style did nothing to calm me.
I Demand You Take My Son off the Naughty List, Santa!
It pains me to think that the childhood I’ve carefully constructed for Trevin could come crashing down, all due to the ramifications of your bullying.