Mom, Dad, I’m Dropping out of School, Moving to New York, and Pursuing My Dream of Being the Mayor of New York
The mayor scene is great in New York. The best in the world. There are tons of small elections that are friendly to newcomers.
Tag: Future
While “Saving the World” Is a Nice Hobby, Don’t You Think It’s Time to Consider Graduate School, Superman?
Aren’t you tired of people mistaking you for a bird or a plane? With some higher education, they could recognize you as a local community leader.
Help, My Life Has Become a Backdoor Pilot!
No one cared about me. The main story suddenly became Hannibal's unique style of investigation and vague allusions to a troubled past.
Declaration of Independence from My Toxic Roommate Terrence
The history of Terrence is a history of repeated injuries and not splitting utility costs, all having in direct object the establishment of a tyranny.
List: Signs Your Therapist Is a Robot
Instead of a medical degree, they display the Three Laws of Robotics and a nude photo of R2D2 on the wall.
Congratulations on Securing a Saggy Bed and Creaky Desk at Our Artist Colony!
This residency is fully funded and exists in an alternate universe where the words fully funded do not mean we give you funds.
My Dad Is a “Black Mirror” Episode
As you might expect, my dad is incredibly excited about this new chapter in his life. He’s been preparing for it for almost 50 years.
5 Times My Father Was Strapped for Cash So We Had to Pay Our Rent by Complimenting Our Landlord’s Horrendous Calf Tattoos
He has a visible tattoo of Tim Allen playing billiards with Tim Allen. (The second Tim Allen had red glowing eyes. He kept calling him “Dark Tim.”)
God Submits a Query Letter for His First Draft of the Bible to the Goodman & Forsythe Literary Agency in New York
We appreciate you allowing Goodman & Forsythe the opportunity to review your fantasy novel, Bible. Unfortunately, it is not right for us at this time.
I’m the Troll Living Under This Bridge and Only I Know Your Destiny Is to Be an Accountant
Being an accountant isn’t all about money, eating tuna sandwiches in the breakroom, and getting picked last for the company dodgeball team.