Future | Points in Case

Tag: Future

Quantum teleportation. Do you need more reasons? If we had teleportation machines, then highway traffic and accidents wouldn’t be a problem.

“Synonyms for ‘laugh’ include ‘chortle,’ ‘gurgle,’ ‘snicker,’ and ‘titter,’” Commander Garm told the dead alien for no discernible reason.

We're only a few weeks into our "Modern World: January to December 2020" AP course and holy shit is it kicking our asses.

There's no better job out of college than playing in the MLB. Great pay, fame, and most of the time you’re standing around and not doing anything.

Today we’re flying a Communal Brain Space 1000. And through a partnership with Amazon, this aircraft runs 100% on recycled human suffering.

Thank goodness I’m still booking kindergarten graduations and Mormon cosplay through Cameo.

You have duly earned those A̶’̶s̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶A̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ P’s, which stand for Probably Above Par.

Banners will fly, in all major cities, bearing my image and a few of my most famous words. There are so many.

As everyone knows, 4/20/69 is the funniest possible date. After all, 420 is the weed thing and 69 is the sex thing. Imagine them... Combined!

I won’t shame you, it’s not my place. No, my place is to be an evolutionary step above paper. My role is to technically be food.

Karpas --- Eating the Green Vegetable: Is this the first vegetable you’ve had all month? We raised you better than to eat all that junk food.

Schrödinger’s Everything: If you refuse to look at your bank balance, you are simultaneously broke and rich.