Marty’s Last Letter to Doc Brown, So He Can Get Back to the Present
Did you know a stroke of lightning lasts roughly 30 microseconds? DID YOU?! What if I hadn’t hit the cable at the right microsecond, Doc?
Tag: Future
Secrets to Rekindling Love While Burning Down a Dystopian Society
With casualties in the hundreds of thousands, just be glad you're dating someone that’s alive.
My Mom Ages Beautifully; I Become More Haggard by the Day
She goes to bed early, after washing her face and applying night serum. I go to bed drunk, after forgetting to brush my teeth or remove my contacts.
List: Fox News Horoscopes for an Election in Retrograde
Libra: You’re feeling frustrated because Jupiter is orbiting Buffalo Wild Wings and they won’t let you in without a mask.
List: If Your Online Dates Texted Like Political Campaigns
Hey, Maggie, I’ll cut right to the chase. Please, Maggie, confirm that you’ll see me at Miller’s Tavern tonight at 8 p.m.
Socially-Conscious Activities for Gender Reveal Parties
Tear open an envelope. If you discover a dollar bill, you’re having a boy! If there’s only 81 cents inside, a girl is on her way!
List: 15 Printed Onesies Worn by Babies Who Will Eventually Struggle to Move Up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
25% Mommy, 25% Daddy, 25% Mommy’s Yoga Coach, 15% Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Tinder Guy Who Was Into Daddy and Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Lube, 100% PERFECT ME!
A Correspondence Between an Enterprising Engineer and the Chicago World’s Fair Commission of 1893
I call my contraption "Four Score and Seven Thrills Ago: Honest Abe’s Adventures in American Aviation." I look forward to hearing from you!
Michael Moore Documentaries of the Future
"Bowling for New Columbine (U.S. Moon Settlement C-97)": A look at how gun manufacturers played a pivotal role in early space colonization.
Nostradamus Got 2020 All Wrong
While people escape outdoors / There will be shortage the like of which was never seen / As masses storm stores / For parchment used to keep clean
If Love Languages Were Categories in a Dystopian YA Novel
I blinked in the winter sun and spotted the raised flag that bore the crest of Quality Time. Under the flag huddled members of my new life.
I’m You 30 Minutes from Now and I Definitely Regret Going for That Run
I’m here to tell you that you’re totally right about today not being the right day for a run. You really don’t want any part of this, man.