I can’t believe we’re standing here today. Seriously, how did I end up here?!
(Pause for laughter)
I’m kidding, of course. But if you’re sitting here today, it means you’ve played a part in me and Jeff’s love story. You’ve seen Jeff and I through our ups and downs. Through the highs: like Jeff getting his new job, us moving in together, and us getting our puppy. And you’ve seen the lows: the fighting, the occasional breakups, and the time Jeff left me at Six Flags and the park closed while I was still inside.
But we made it. To this moment. To this day.
Jeff, there were days I didn’t know if we would get here.
Primarily, that day at Six Flags.
I remember it like yesterday. I asked you to hold my purse while I went to the bathroom to relieve myself from the foodborne illness caused by eating the hard-boiled eggs you brought. I see a couple people in the audience smiling and nodding. If you know Jeff, you know he loves saving money and he loves hard-boiled eggs! But I digress.
When I came out of the Six Flags bathroom, quite some time had passed. To my dismay, the park had closed. The cleaning crew was gone. And you were gone, too—taking my cell phone, keys, and wallet with you. I sat down in an empty tea cup, contemplating what to do next. After some feeling sorry for myself and a few more trips to the bathroom, I decided I would find my own way out of that Six Flags. I climbed a barbed-wire fence, hopped a highway median, hitch-hiked, and walked the remaining eight miles home. To our home. To you.
When I walked in the door, there you were. Sitting on the couch. Playing video games. Peeling a hard-boiled egg. You looked at me and said, “Shit.”
(Pause for laughter)
And despite the day I had just had, and the open wounds from climbing that barbed-wire fence… All I wanted was to be next to you. Because I chose you, Jeff. Every time. And I hope you will choose me… at least when you remember to.
(Pause for more laughter)
So, Jeff… I promise to make the bed in the morning more. To dance. To laugh. To sing. To let you play video games without headphones on. To boil eggs for you.
And I promise that if you leave me at Six Flags again, I will try to find my way back to you… Because now I know the way.