Why Was I Charged with a Felony for Simply Taking Home Some Office Supplies and My Boss’ Bank Account Number?
Nobody in the office will miss their paper clips and pens and you know what? My boss, Mr. Thompson, doesn’t even spend his money anyway.
Tag: Police
Forbes 30 with Under 30 Days to Live
Bruce has been a policeman for 40 years and retires in 27 days. If you know anything about law enforcement, he will certainly die on his last day.
Empowering Affirmations for Strength While Doing Laundry at a Public Laundromat
“I am grateful for my talents.” How quickly can you fold laundry before getting hit on? Did someone steal your detergent?
My Grandpa’s Cookie Recipe That Serves as Evidence He Was D.B. Cooper
Slowly add in the dry mixture until combined. The batter should be rough as the terrain near the Washougal River Basin in Washington state.
Narwhal Tusk Basic Training
You’re holding in your hands as sophisticated an anti-terrorist device as God in his worshipful workshop has ever devised!
Slogans from the MTA’s Expanded “See Something, Say Something” Campaign
If you SEE something delicious, SAY “that looks yummy!” If you SEE something nutritious, SAY “I think I’ll go back to the yummy thing from earlier.”
I, Zippy the Jetpack Boy, Have Been Hired to Fix Your Subway System!
No one knows more about getting from point A to point B with lethal efficiency than Zippy the Jetpack Boy -- that this is bound to rub off on the job.
Modern Scares You’ll Encounter in a 2019 Haunted House
You flee down hallways. Everywhere, people are being NICE to each other! They jump out from the darkness, only to grab other people in huge hugs!
So You Bought a Time Machine
Unfortunately, the use of our XR line to assist in a murder of anyone is strictly prohibited.
I’m Sorry I’m Only an Attempted Murderer
Your family has a long legacy of murderers, and you hoped to marry one yourself. You envisioned a picture-perfect life as a convicted murderer’s wife.
I’m Sam Spade, Professional Book Blurber
“It’s been a long time since I burst into tears because a publishing house didn’t get its jacket copy before deadline.”
Mysteries Involving the Rich and Powerful
The doors and windows are all open and the room is empty except for a puddle of water under the body. How can this be?