Itemized Police Budget Report for June 2020
Bespoke Tom Ford rapid response tactical outerwear - $475,000 / “Good cop, bad cop” improv lessons - $36,000 / Body camera software updates - $3.50
Bespoke Tom Ford rapid response tactical outerwear - $475,000 / “Good cop, bad cop” improv lessons - $36,000 / Body camera software updates - $3.50
We want to make one thing perfectly clear: We will not be recalling our Roombas no matter how violent they get.
That’s a “you” problem. We’re just here to box you in, we’re not here to tell you how to uphold your civic duty to not harm others.
Which of the following pieces of equipment can be carried off-duty by employees and even concealed? A) Avocado Masher B) SIG Sauer P320 Pistol
Kyle’s father just asked if “Post Malone is a sequel to Bugsy.” Agents remain locked and loaded as they stand by for further instruction.
I have a team of techs going over every inch of your apartment. I also know we could find so many hilarious props around here.
You’re gonna want a place near bars, delis, and neighborhood laundromats. These are full of characters who will be furiously vague witnesses.
“You have the right to remain sexy, no matter how indeterminately older you are than your circle of close friends.” It’s just a number, people!
Human Remains – Whoops! You’ve been living your best life for a few months and completely forgot about your boyfriend Carson in the fridge.
An excerpt from Section 38.28.1 of the Limo Driver's Handbook about how to deal with a bachelorette that turns into a jewel heist.
With so many murders happening each year, it’s extremely difficult to develop and sustain a calling card that’s distinct.
Nobody in the office will miss their paper clips and pens and you know what? My boss, Mr. Thompson, doesn’t even spend his money anyway.