Jack-o’-Lantern Designs That Say “We’re Filing for Divorce”
A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.
A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.
I thought that I was the king of murders that helped me achieve a sense of fulfillment, but it turns out I’m actually the king of awkward.
And before you ask, you disgusting skid mark, yes, we’re sifting our dry ingredients before combining. We weren’t raised by fucking mole people.
You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.
My wife and I love experiencing the unfamiliar, like state-sanctioned killings, nationwide poverty, or kooky cheeses.
Hamlet: Literally The Lion King without any of the lions, any of Africa, any majestic rock, or any Nathan Lane.
And sure, the judge may say this is all “outside the scope of the trial”---but who are you gonna listen to? Me, or this fuckin' alien judge?
There are three distinct rivers in New York summers: the Hudson, the East, and the one continuously flowing down into your ass crack.
If I get cream cheese on my nose, don’t dare lick it off, for The Lord Your Dog is a jealous Dog when cream cheese is nigh, and whipped cream too.
Mickey, it might be the time to dust off those wizard skills and bring your friend back to life.
Skeleton: Awakening (Note on the musical score) “I don’t think the nipples would change the xylophone tone in that way.”
OMG Literally Dead Plant: The most common millennial houseplant, it comes in all varieties that ultimately end the same way---dead AF.