2010: The Year We Made Contact

2011: The Year We Lost Contact When Rupert Murdoch Blocked the Alien Transmission Source with a Private Satellite and Claimed Worldwide Redistribution Rights

2012: The Year Rupert Murdoch Declared Himself “Immortan Murdoch” and Moved All of 20th Century Fox’s Media Content to a Prohibitively Expensive Streaming Platform Known as “Murdoch’s Lockbox” as a Means of Establishing a Foothold in the Streaming Wars Against Conglomerated Competitors Like GoogAmazApple-MaxFlix

2013: The Year People Forgot About the Alien Contact Because They Just Wanted to Be Able to Watch The Simpsons to Unwind Before Bed Even Though They’ve Seen Every Episode Like a Thousand Times so Immortan Murdoch in His Self-Perceived Altruism Inaugurated the “Springfield Rations Doctrine” Wherein One Classic Simpsons Episode from Seasons 2 Through 8 Would Be Broadcast in Public Squares Every Night and the People Rejoiced Because Those Episodes Hold Up Really Well

2014: The Year People Got Tired of Seeing the Same Simpsons Episodes Over and Over and Said Whatever, They Could Just Watch Friends or Seinfeld or The Office or How I Met Your Mother or The Big Bang Theory to Unwind Before Bed Even Though They’ve Seen Every Episode Like a Thousand Times

2015: The Year CBS-ViaComcast Merged with AT&T Time-Charter-Reuters and Made Every Classic TV Show Switch Streaming Platforms Once a Week to Force People to Subscribe to All of Them If They Wanted to Watch Their Favorite Shows They’ve Seen Like a Thousand Times

2016: The Year the Firstborn Extraterrestrial Species From 2001: A Space Odyssey Returned David Bowman to Earth But Took David Bowie Back Home Which is What They Meant to Do in the First Place With All Those Weird Monoliths and Anyway That’s What Bowie Was Warning Us About in That Blackstar Album if You Really Read the Lyrics

2017: The Year Walt Disney Thawed From His Cryogenic Stasis to Acquire Murdoch’s Lockbox for $71.3 Billion and Debuted a New Worldwide Streaming Service Offering All Media Content Ever Made Since the Beginning of Time For $99.99 Per Month (With Ads) and Led the World in a Sing-along of “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” But Most People Just Mouthed Along Because They Only Kind of Remembered the Song From That DisneyWorld Ride Called “The Carousel of Progress” or Something Like That and Everybody Was Happy Until They Realized the New Streaming Platform Didn’t Include ESPN

2018: The Year Steve Jobs Tried to Thaw From His Cryogenic Stasis to Say One More Thing About AppleTV+ But His iChamber Was Riddled With Bugs and Needed the 13.1.1.1.1 Update Which Wouldn’t Be Available Until Q1 2020

2019: The Year Ukrainian Scientists Decoded the Original Extraterrestrial Transmission and It Turned Out to Be the Aliens Offering the Keys to Jumpstarting Mankind’s Stunted Development in Exchange for New Firefly Episodes

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