Human Sunbathing Explained to the Aliens
No, the sun does not have any terrestrial healing powers, but it can fry your skin and inflict life-threatening disease.
Tag: Aliens
Strange UFO Encounters in Dooglesbury, Iowa
September 21st, 10:02 PM: “The Big Stinker” spotted again three miles away, hovering outside an elderly woman’s second-story window.
Why Our New Ad Campaign Only Targets Reptilian-Human Hybrids
The government began funding the reptilian-human-hybrid breeding program in the late 1940s. The perfect age to discover the wonders of retirement living.
Everything at Area 51, Besides the Aliens
Bigfoot, Chupacabra, but not Mothman (he’s a real jerk)
How to Be an Agreeable Long-Term Alien Guest
Be tidy. If you have showered in body fluids, towel off before excursions.
You’re Going to Get Eaten by That Spider Alien
But you’re shit out of luck if you think one of these spider aliens is going to move unrealistically slowly, giving me just enough time to shoot it.
Empress Sq’ree-XII’s Favorite Things
I honestly don’t know what I did before I conquered the Choff Quadrant and seized their Time Hex, sending them into a thousand years of chaotic darkness.
Why I Am the Perfect Abductee for Inquiring Aliens
I am a human from Earth, but please don't hold that against me. I believe that this is an asset, as I have witnessed what not to do with a planet
Email from Invading Aliens Accidentally Sent to My Inbox
We parked our vehicle in several spots over the two-week period. No matter which spot we occupied, a human would tell us we were in “their spot.”
All the Embarrassing Stuff You Caught Me Doing When You Entered My Bedroom Without Knocking
You know I only pick my nose because I have to. My doctor says if I don’t pick my nose, I won’t be able to breathe out of it.
I Am an Alien Colonizer of the Planet Formerly Known as Earth, and I Assure You the Sports Team We Named After You Isn’t Racist
We were trying to get to Uranus, and had mistaken your planet for our intended destination. So we started calling you bipeds "Uranuses."
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