A stolen bomb squad dog to sniff out the aliens. (They probably smell kind of like TNT.) Your grandmama Ellis’ necklace, so you can be buried with it.
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
It was now blindingly obvious that this convergence of Keanu was more than just happenstance.
Q; What happened to Leonard? A: Leonard was catapulted through a vibrating and glowing door frame into a space between dimensions.
As we are the first of our species to inspect this planet called Earth, we have sent…
Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Don’t let anyone see you almost cry after two rounds of this warm-up or you’ll get pegged as whiney.
Some of my fans may have guessed who I was when I sang “Roar” by Katy Perry. No matter how much I practiced, I couldn’t hold in my signature screech.
The Sun Explodes: It’s been on fire for a few centuries now, it is only a matter of time until it explodes like a thing of bug spray in a campfire.
Even Though I Am an Astronaut Whose Mom Had to Pick Him Up Early From Space, I Still Deserve Respect
The worst part was that a local news team ran a story that the reason my mom picked me up was because I was scared.
The orb seemed pretty observant, too, so no doubt everyone’s unique powers would shed new light on their natural strengths and underlying weaknesses.
In Conclusion: Aliens Not Only Built The Pyramids, But They Also Committed That Murder I’ve Been Accused Of
And sure, the judge may say this is all “outside the scope of the trial”---but who are you gonna listen to? Me, or this fuckin' alien judge?
Imagine if we depicted all of humanity as tiny, pink, whiners with aggressive tendencies. Your species would not appreciate this behavior.