“A Facebook event named Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All of Us has become an internet sensation. Even though the US Air Force is strongly advising against it, more than 2 million people have signed up to attend the Sept. 20 event in the Nevada desert.”
CNN, 7/30/19


Camo cargo pants so the guards can't see you.

Your estate in order in case the above does not work out for you.

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, to present the aliens with the very best human culinary arts has to offer.

A fake ID, so that when you inevitably get arrested, you can’t be prosecuted, since they have the wrong person.

The phone number of a really good lawyer in case the above does not work out for you.

A stolen bomb squad dog to sniff out the aliens. They probably smell kind of like TNT.

Your grandmama Ellis’ necklace, so you can be buried with it.

Some dank memes to share with your fellow raiders to boost morale.

Cocaine, in case the above does not work out for you.

Your ride or die best bitch, Susan.

Your ride or die best bitch Susan’s mom, Candace, because you tricked her into buying the plane tickets under the guise of a Boyz II Men reunion concert. Hey, times are tough.

Your tax rebate to buy some sick ass armor.*
*A knight costume from the nearest Party City

Tiffany Pollard saying, “BEYONCE??!?” over and over to distract the guards.

Tear gas, in case the above does not work out for you.

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