You can provoke me all you want but I'm not going to do anything irrational. Except remove your handcuffs in a parking lot.
My life has been nothing but cutesy crime solving and I’m over it. I’d rather get spayed again than have to solve one more cozy mystery.
Experts discuss the latest lake tragedy: the uptick in water quality issues of Pennsylvania’s second-largest lake due to an increase in boat usage!
The "Definitely Not Adderall" Meal ($54.99): A taco shell with six tablets of Adderall in it.
The criminals must have also found it easy to sneak around me, due to the rug, and fireplace, and radio.
"I didn’t even know it was a crime. I worked down at the docks. I had no idea I was helping smuggle in the Scarecrow’s neurotoxins."
The environment takes its toll. The long hours on your feet, the questions about where things are, all the ingredients involved in such a job...
Empty your pockets. Phones out, now! And you know what? While you’re doing that, why don’t you all sing Happy Birthday?
Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.
Q: Do members have to kill to show how committed they are? A: Our initiation ritual is to show everyone in the gang your Internet search history.
With casualties in the hundreds of thousands, just be glad you're dating someone that’s alive.
"Pups Go Camping" - The PAW Patrol round-up protestors, immigrants, and intellectuals to take to a mandatory camp in the woods.