A Science Fiction Story with a Very Thin Plot
“Synonyms for ‘laugh’ include ‘chortle,’ ‘gurgle,’ ‘snicker,’ and ‘titter,’” Commander Garm told the dead alien for no discernible reason.
Tag: Aliens
The Unfortunate Consequences of My Writing During the Time of COVID-19
Banners will fly, in all major cities, bearing my image and a few of my most famous words. There are so many.
Pandemic Coping Tips for Extraterrestrials Pretending to Be Earthlings
Get Dressed Every Morning - Even if you don’t expect to be in public, remember to put on your human skin suit every morning.
Mindfulness Tips for Evil Telepathic Mutants
Don’t dwell on the minds you’ve violated in the past or plan to violate in the future. Focus on the minds you’re violating in the present.
The Ten Most Important Years of the Past Decade
2011: The Year We Lost Contact When Rupert Murdoch Blocked Alien Transmission with a Private Satellite and Claimed Worldwide Redistribution Rights.
Marriage, as Explained by an Alien
A female human getting married will choose her favorite female friends and force them to all wear the same dress for the big day.
Soldiers, I’m Here to Tell You Aliens Exist and They’re Mean as Hell
As it struggled, it waved General McHenry closer. It opened eyes and in its dying breath choked out, "You're not fooling anyone with that hairpiece."
Wedding Vows for Conspiracy Theorists
Do you promise to never fake orgasms or moon landings? Will you open your heart to your spouse’s family, friends, and cabals?
An Asteroid Threatens the Federation and We Must Take Action—But Only after Tonight’s Gala
We do not want to mar the beauty, purity, and good vibes of the Federation Gala with the ugliness of politics.
Impostor Syndrome at the Space Olympics
You are supposed to be here no matter what the Space Squids wrote on your locker in 4-dimensional ink that you had to get a Helper-Droid to translate.
Godzilla vs. Empty Nest Syndrome
Minilla plods off, leaving Monster Island by himself. Godzilla chokes back his atomic ray as he remembers the first time he laid eyes on him.
I Am the Orc from Your Favorite Movies
I played an orc in the Lord of the Ring movies. If you look closely, I am the grayish one with the teeth coming out in all directions from my face.