We applaud you for giving us something to do with our hands other than ball them up or masturbate.
We used to be a roller disco, and decided to pay tribute to our history by keeping the floors just as lacquered as they were in 1977.
But you’re shit out of luck if you think one of these spider aliens is going to move unrealistically slowly, giving me just enough time to shoot it.
It consists of wearing a bespoke suit, carrying a pocket watch, looking through binoculars, and having a staunch belief that America peaked in 1948.
We promise you'll still be able to throw horns while enjoying all your favorite affordable tribute bands like The Pho Fighters and Avenged Onefold.
Let our four-legged friends teach you about their traditions, long history, or the way to make the best apple cider you've ever had (a Branbury guarantee).
We could brawl, and you might get off a few gunshots or blows into my ripped torso, but you can't make me take off work for two weeks.
Admittedly, we were shocked when we noticed people who didn't spring for box seats were drowning below us.
Lois has been distant ever since we found out my sperm could kill her. She keeps making snide comments about how Batman wouldn't have this problem.