1. “I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any gods before Me.”
1. (Taylor’s Version) What you had with other gods before me, can and must stay in the past. But once you’ve accepted me into your heart and soul, you must remain exclusive.
2. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.”
2. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not throw shade on my name or thy will face the wrath of hundreds of vengeful Swifites online.
3. “Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.”
3. (Taylor’s Version) Remember to maintain your Holy Ground on the 13th day of the month, the day of the Sabbath.
4. “Honor thy father and mother.”
4. (Taylor’s Version) Honor my father and mother, there’s no “All Too Well” if they don’t engage in the erotically charged dance of the Garden of Eden.
5. “Thou shalt not kill.”
5. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shall only kill either with kindness, whilst on stage, or by mercilessly dragging your enemies in the form of a super catchy, chart-topping bop.
6. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
6. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not commit adultery (no notes).
7. “Thou shalt not steal.”
7. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not steal a friend’s lover, a person’s innocence, or my fucking album masters.
8. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.”
8. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not allow red-headed Abigail to give everything she has unto you just so you can change your mind.
9. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”
9. (Taylor’s Version) Commandment nine has been omitted out of redundancy. Taylor shall not tell you twice.
10. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.”
10. (Taylor’s Version) Thou shalt not covet an artist’s streaming rights unless thou is willing to pay fair fees to all artists.