Section VII: Common Knowledge of States

Instructions: Select the correct answer to the following obscure questions about random states in our union.

1. What is the official motto of New Jersey?

  1. I’ve got your motto right here.
  2. What happens in New Jersey stays in cement.
  3. The Olive Garden State.
  4. The blight at the end of the tunnels.

2. What is the correct spelling of the state located between Louisiana and Alabama?

  1. Mrs. Sippy
  2. Ms. Asippy
  3. MississiKKKi
  4. Missouri

3. What archaic law is still on the books in West Virginia?

  1. Everyone in the state must have the same surname.
  2. Coon hounds are not allowed to be substitute teachers.
  3. If there is a fork in the road, you must either remove it or add a knife.
  4. Moonshine cannot be made in a septic tank.

4. What is the literal translation of the name “Oklahoma”?

  1. A home for Okla
  2. OK to stay home
  3. Home of casino-free Indians
  4. Earthquakes… what the frack!

5. In what time zone is California?

  1. High time
  2. Endless summer time
  3. Left Coast Time
  4. The Tropic of Capricorn

6. What four faces are carved into South Dakota’s Mount Rushmore?

  1. John, Paul, Ringo and George
  2. FDR, JFK, LBJ and W
  3. The Four Horseman of the Zombie Apocalypse
  4. Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Margaret Dumont

Section XIII: American Proverbs

Instructions: Select the correct ending to the following archaic American proverbs.

1. It’s always darkest before…

  1. you see a canary in the coal mine.
  2. impeachment.
  3. the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
  4. you come up with a bright idea.

2. People in glass houses shouldn’t…

  1. take a shower.
  2. forget to apply an SPF 100 sunscreen.
  3. let kids play baseball in their yard.
  4. get stoned.

3. Beggars can’t be…

  1. president.
  2. allowed to default on their student loans.
  3. called “fundraisers.”
  4. Uber drivers.

4. Beauty is in the eye of…

  1. the hurricane.
  2. pageant judges.
  3. your dog.
  4. someone with narcissistic syndrome.

5. A bird in the hand…

  1. might startle your date.
  2. is something to tweet about.
  3. is the cat’s meow.
  4. goes cheap.

6. Don’t put all your eggs in…

  1. one omelet.
  2. a fertility bank.
  3. a single catapult.
  4. a bottomless basket.

Section XIX: Miscellaneous People

Instructions: Select the most likely answer to the following questions about newsworthy people, whether real or imagined.

1. Who is Jared?

  1. A guy who bragged about losing weight on a sub sandwich diet, only to be caught downloading pictures of fresh tarts
  2. The lead actor in the movie “Slumlord Millionaire”
  3. The brother of Kay, who also owns a namesake jewelry store in the mall
  4. An inflatable passenger allowing a driver to illegally use the carpool lane

2. Who owns the most casinos in the U.S.?

  1. Two nuns from Torrance
  2. The Wynn-ers
  3. Monte Cassino
  4. The Great Pumpkin

3. The portrait of which famous woman will soon replace that of Andrew Jackson on the twenty dollar bill?

  1. Cher
  2. Miss Piggy
  3. Kim Kardashian
  4. Wayne Newton

4. Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?

  1. Jimmy Hoffa
  2. The Unknown Soldier
  3. Harry Houdini
  4. Cary Grant

5. Who is the author of The Art of the Deal?

  1. Monty Hall
  2. Howie Mandel
  3. Kanye West
  4. A ghostwriter for The Great Pumpkin

6. By what other name is the Statue of Liberty known?

  1. Lady Libertine
  2. Lady Gaga
  3. The French Connection
  4. Oh Buoy, It’s a Gull