Scrolling through Twitter for the news.

Going rhinoceros hunting for the nature.

Taking a beach selfie for the biodiversity of the tidepool.

Ordering Blue Apron for the recipes.

Texting your ex after hearing Alice DeeJay’s “Better Off Alone” at a bar for the conversation.

Sleeping with your ex later that evening for the closure.

Listening to The Joe Rogan Experience for the discourse.

Driving a white sport utility vehicle for the utility.

Confiscating your son’s pot gummies for the lesson in discipline.

Planning a family trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the family.

Eating your son’s pot gummies at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the sustenance.

Driving a Tesla for the environment.

Living with six roommates for the camaraderie.

Doing your roommates’ dishes for the karma.

Doing your roommates’ dishes over and over again while you think horrible thoughts about them for the karma.

Drinking a CBD latte for the medicinal properties of CBD.

Watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians for the lessons on entrepreneurship.

Watching Game of Thrones for the parallels to our real-life political moment.

Watching Avengers: Endgame for the immersion in modern mythology.

Drinking an entire bottle of wine for the antioxidants.

Wearing an Apple watch for the timekeeping.

Following your childhood friends on social media for the memories.

Wearing a MAGA hat for the graphic design.

Pursuing an MBA for the student discounts.

Spending hours playing Lumosity brain games for the brain exercise.

Liking a crush’s Instagram for the compositional excellence.

Wearing headphones in the subway for the ear protection.

Singing Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” at karaoke for the audience.

Doing tequila shots for the lime.

Intervening in Venezuela for the democracy.

Ordering Blue Apron for the cardboard boxes.

Reading Playboy for the nudity.

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