The Baker: He will bring you an unsolicited pie.
The Musician: He plays classical guitar, but that won’t let you justify his extra-long thumbnail.
Deal Breaker Jeans: His jeans unzip into shorts.
Ballpark Hot Dog Heir: He’s turned his back on his legacy in favor of screen-writing, yet he retains the unmistakable energy of the heir to a ballpark hotdog fortune.
Matchbox 20: Things will go great until you ask him about his favorite band.
The Animal Lover: He will bring his dog to the bar. He will tell you not to pet it because it has mange.
Messy Sushi Eater: You are the messy sushi eater. This one is your fault.
The Person of Interest: A little too knowledgeable about a string of recent unsolved murders in the area.
Housing Market Podcaster: Expert on local housing prices. This is all you will talk about.
Manchester By The Sea Heckler: He will heckle his way through this dark family drama.
Surprise Child: This man has a surprise child.
Local Honey: When you tell your friends you went out with a guy who makes local honey, you will discover they did too.
Ghoster #3: In two years he will text you “happy birthday.” It will not be your birthday.