Despite the devastation caused by emerging Gulf Coastal storms, the US has only reported an unemployment figure down 35,000. Though many Americans still feel the figure fails to capture those unable to declare unemployment, US economic analyst, Jerry Gethhart downplayed such facts stating “I counted those people personally. That’s all there is.”

Other economists expected the number to have neared 125,000 just as coroners expected a similar body count after the disaster. In a briefing held recently, former FEMA head Michael Brown commented saying, “Told ya those figures were too high. See? No bodies, no unemployment – wait…er, I mean to say that both numbers are unrelated except that they aren’t what people said they would be. Um, I have to go now.”

There has been no comment from the White House about where new jobs can be found, that is, unless you already worked for the White House.