Literate bartenders everywhere agree it's half National Enquirer, half Dear Abby, half Jerry Springer. Mix well and garnish with calculator.
Walking the line between high and low brow, you'll find that having class often gets in the way of gawking at the many fine campus ladies.
Breaking news: The Scholarly Tabloid gets a makeover! No, it's not a smear campaign, just a reinvention of humorous social commentary.
When you're an AC/DC on the black/white spectrum, sometimes you have to grab the E. Mike and define yourself in stereo.
Hey Asshole, I know you like to talk shit, but you're not clever. Nice guys finish last, unlike your emotionally unsatisfied girlfirend.
When your biting sarcasm is too tongue-in-cheek for your audience, you must bite your tongue lest your words fall on confused ears. Right?
At the moment, our foresight is a little askew, and our focus short-sighted, but a new age awaits as soon as we turn off the HD surround sound.
When your mind is tied up with sex, it's hard to get a safety word in edgewise. Bite the hand that needs you, if you're into that sorta thing.
This article may contain the following: razor-sharp wit, biting satire, and vicious sarcasm. Watch for jokes flying over your head.
As long as the media execs' pockets are getting fat, they'll continue to shove fast-food comedy down our throats. Mmm, tastes so... generic.
The reports are in, the investigation is closed, the data has been analyzed...and plagiarized: college students like to cheat.