The number one rule of road trips is don’t put your leg on my seat. This line is where your seat ends and mine begins.”

“I get a window seat because I’m the oldest and also I get car sick if I’m in the middle.”

“Hawk! If you see a hawk, you have to say hawk. But don’t lie because that’s cheating.”

“My dad gave me $12 for snacks but I’m going to keep it and save up for a hawk instead because best friends are more important than road trip snacks. Plus, your dad said he would buy me Bugles once we got to Indiana.”

“No, pets can actually be your best friend, too. Especially for me because I can talk to animals.”

“Well, Josh S. is wrong. If I can’t talk to animals then explain how I know that our class Guinea Pig Cinnamon said that Josh S. totally sucks and the only reason he gets to play shortstop in Little League is because his dad is the coach?”

“Yeah, my dad wanted to coach my Little League team but I told him not to because I didn’t want to deal with the politics of being the coach’s son. It’s too messy for me. He comes to every game, though, and then he takes me to Dairy Queen and we get blizzards and then he tells me he’s proud of me.”

“Well, you probably didn’t see him because you guys only came to my last three games. Those were the playoffs… ever heard of them? Well, they’re super important. My dad usually hangs out right by the fence but he was probably way in the back for those games because he didn’t want me to be distracted.”

“No, Coach didn’t bench me. I only sat out the championship game because I hurt my arm throwing fastballs during practice. Actually, Coach said I have the best arm he’s ever seen. Even better than Josh S.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty much going pro so I don’t even care that we lost to the Blue Penguins or that I didn’t make All Stars.”

“What? Josh S. made All Stars? Oh, I didn’t even know. Like I said, Little League politics. His dad probably pulled some strings with the league tastemakers and got him on the team. I just hope he doesn’t get too embarrassed when he stinks in front of everyone.”

“Obviously I would’ve made All Stars too if I weren’t for my stupid arm injury. Ugh, it really sucks that I had to be injured and that’s why I couldn’t be on the team. But, I probably couldn’t even play in the All Star game this weekend, anyways, because your parents begged me to come on this road trip to babysit you guys.”

“No, I didn’t want to come! My dad only made me come because your parents wouldn’t stop asking. I definitely wish I could be hanging out with all of my friends, or something.”

“Of course I have friends! Don’t be stupid. I just don’t tell you guys about them because I don’t want you talking to them and embarrassing me. I don’t even care about popularity, anyways.”

“Well, of course you guys never see me with them at school. It’s pretty hard to hang out with friends at school when Mrs. Griffin practically begs me to stay in and clean Cinnamon's cage during recess.”

“Yeah, it’s like a total drag that I have to do that every recess and then play solitaire on her computer. I wish she would stop asking me because recess seems like so much fun and my friends are always like, ‘Please, please, please come play with us, Jackson. You’re the best.’”

“Look, I’m not in the mood to list all of my friends for you because I’m starting to feel car sick. Even though I could probably name at least a hundred. It would probably take the whole road trip.”

“Seriously, please be quiet. I feel really sick and I need to close my eyes. My dad said if I puke in the car I have to use my $12 to get it cleaned. But you have to wake me up if we stop for snacks in Indiana, okay? I’ll even share my Bugles with you, but you have to promise to stop talking about Josh S. and the Blue Penguins and the All Star team and all of my friends that I definitely have in real life. Okay? Great.”