Thanks for coming in to interview with us, it was really a pleasure to meet you. Unfortunately, we’ve decided to go a different way. But we honestly did enjoy our conversation and I was wondering, do you want to hang out sometime?

Your resume is very impressive for someone who graduated so recently. Going to grad school full-time while working full-time and raising a family? Really remarkable stuff.

And volunteering abroad? I’d love to hear about that at the draught house some time. It’s that bar in the lobby — you probably walked by it when you came for the interview. Anyway, that’s where my fantasy football league usually meets. There’s still time to sign up if you’re interested.

We all agreed you presented yourself very well. You talked about your technical strengths without going over anyone’s head — and we’re not all as technically versed as you are! The conversation felt really laidback. You would have been a great fit with our corporate culture.

I got sort of excited when you mentioned how much you love baseball because I love baseball too. Come to think of it, I always have some extra tickets. We usually get them to take clients, but if we don’t have any major customers in town, the staff is free to use them. It’s too bad; you would have loved that part of working here.

When you signed the NDA, I noticed you’re left-handed. We could really use a lefty pitcher. Think about it.

If we had someone here who could share some of the responsibilities of this role while you sort of warmed up, it might be different. It’s like our company kickball team. New people come out thinking that it’s just kickball and they’ll be fine. But it definitely takes some time for people to get the hang of it.

Also, you don’t have to work here to be on the team. You just have to know someone who does. When you signed the NDA, I noticed you’re left-handed. We could really use a lefty pitcher. Think about it.

We couldn’t give you one of the uniforms. But you could just wear a t-shirt that’s the same color. Our CEO and our CFO both bought us uniforms. I guess it’s for home and away games? But we play at the same park every time. It’s sort of stupid. But it’s fun. They usually buy us brunch after the games, too.

Did you know they make Bloody Marys in a juice box now? There is usually a cooler full of those for after the game. It’s like being in little league all over again.

And I want you to know this had nothing to do with you kicking Nick’s ass at foosball. He’s one of the founders, but he’s super chill. Really, if anything it was a plus. It was great that you just walked in with a game in progress and claimed the next game against the winner. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we look for.

Too long, don’t read: It’s not one thing in particular, I just think we’d make great friends.

Good luck in your job search and hopefully I’ll see you at kickball.