Hey, what's going on? What do you want to do tonight?

Want to get homeless people to spit their blood into our mouths?

Or should we go up to black people in the ghetto of Chicago and tell them we totally supported slavery and it should probably be brought back (it'll help out the economy).

Or like, we could rub sandpaper over each other's pupils until our eyes start bleeding.

Or we could go to the Republican National Convention and use an American flag as toilet paper in front of everyone.

Do you want to go outside an abortion clinic and dig in the dumpster for aborted fetuses and then eat them?

Have an orgy with our grandmas? And our grandpas?……Who are all dead?

See what's the biggest object we can stick up our peehole?

Steal the identity of Rosie O'Donnell?

Should we get extreme sunburn all over our naked bodies and then pour hot wax on ourselves a day later, then go attack a nest of bees, provoking them to sting our sunburnt and burned body, then jump in a huge pit of thumbtacks? Then run through a crowded daycare screaming "SATAN HAS COME! KILL YOURSELVES NOW!" in a deep voice?

Oh, the Columbus Destroyers play the San Francisco Faggots in Arena Football tonight? That sounds brutal. I think I'm just gonna punch myself in the balls repeatedly instead.