Legitimate King of Denmark

We are hiring! If you are tired of treachery and want to join a high-functioning team of honest royals, consider applying to the Court of Elsinore! We have an immediate opening for the role of Lord Chamberlain. The successful applicant will have a bias for action and eschew eavesdropping behind curtains.


What is this balderdash? My father Polonius is Lord Chamberlain.

Methinks he was a weasel.

Brother, we need to talk!

Julius Caesar
General, Statesman, Rome

Just arrived in Pompey for the inaugural Ides of March Good Government Conference. Looking forward to productive discussions with my friends of the Senate on how we can cut through red tape and take a stab at reforming inefficiencies.

Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet are celebrating their Connection Anniversary at The Capulet Family Tomb.

Queen of Egypt

Ladies, my dear ladies, is it not enough to be oppressed on all sides by the powers of men, that we must also compete against ourselves? No, we must join together for the advancement of our sex. Why, @OctaviaCaesar has just today married my true love Antony, but do I begrudge her that she is shorter than me? Do I condemn her that she speaks with a low manly voice, that she is baser perfumed than I? That she lacks withal to hold the charm of Rome’s greatest soldier? Hardly. I join my hands with all daughters of Juno, even the dull of tongue and dwarfish.

Prince of Verona / Life Coach

Join me tomorrow as I share with the people of Verona a motivational talk entitled, “All are Punishéd.”

Lady Macbeth
Thaness of Cawdor (formerly Glammis)

I am holding a seminar tomorrow entitled: “How to Slay Analysis Paralysis and Send Your Star Shooting From Its Sphere.” Please advise, my Lord @Macbeth, if you know anyone, anyone at all, who might like to attend.

Still Very Much the King of Britain

After a long and glorious reign, I am announcing today my SEMI-retirement 🎉. I shall maintain all the @powers and @benefits of the 👑, while my three #daughters shall take over the @burdens of state, such as all the ⚔️ and all the 🏰, plus all the land 🗺️, and all the alliances with powerful dukes, etc. Fetch me a flagon of ale, #Kent, this is going to be so relaxing!


Love you, Daddy!

Love you more!

Courtier, Elsinore

To all my generous mentors, a hearty thanks. Your advice flows so freely and constantly that I am not a moment without considerations of how to dispose myself. What needs my career, that is already tailored to the slim convenience of men, but the additional influence of their teaching me which of my two choices to pursue? Shall I marry a murdering melancholic? Shall I get me to a nunnery? I’ll repose in a willow over the brook to think on these most enticing options.

Macbeth recommends the Weird Consulting Group.

“From Glammis to Cawdor to King, the sisters marshall'st me the way that I was going.”

Fool, Lear’s Palace

Coxcombs off to @Feste and @Dogberry for a stimulating panel discussion, “Poor Yorick: Poverty Wages in Contemporary Monarchist Comedian Retainers”

1 comment

I commence you both on a discursion well-esteemed.

Don John and Edmund of Gloucester follow Bastardy.

Ensign, Venice

Congratulations to @Cassio on his well-deserved promotion to Lieutenant! @Desdemona must be thrilled!

Cauis “Cariolanus” Marcus
General, Armed Forces, Rome

After much reflection, I have decided to explore opportunities to hone my talent for bloodshed outside of Rome. I will share an update as my plans come into focus. #notbanished #itwasmutual

Sir John “Fat Jack” Falstaff
Brothel Heavy / Entrepreneur

A plague upon your guineas. A plague upon your crowns. If your shillings be wealth, then I am a heap of soggy turnips. No, friends, wealth hereafter consists in a ledger inscribed upon a chain of wine bottles. Buy #SackCoin before it goeth to the moon!