Educational: Adult Man 1 and Adult Man 2 are back with fun facts about history and events that you should learn about! Listen to their research on unique scholarly topics like “The Letter Q” and “Mothers” and “Why Hitler Chose the Mustache Instead of a Tasteful Chin Strap Beard.”

Interviewer Talking Over Celebrity: Coming off the success of his stand-up tour you didn’t hear about, join Struggling Comic with a Pop! Figurine Collection and his guest, Celebrity with a Terrible New CBS Sitcom as they discuss things you never thought you’d actively listen through such as steak knives, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, and whether the Pillsbury Dough Boy could hypothetically be tried in court.

Celebrity Talking Over Celebrity: For those of you wondering, “What’s that actor from that movie doing these days?” Well… it’s this! Whether shoehorning in their own experiences in the industry or casually mentioning the superstar they dated, this host has an inside look at what the person they’re interviewing is already talking openly about. Listen in on their conversations about how their “new project” is really much more “honest and vulnerable.” You try to figure out what that means!

Three White Guys With Opinions: Movies? Music? Sports? Food? It doesn’t matter to these three dudes! Of these three men, one of them has a kid, one has a credible background, and one knows a lot about a sports team. Tune into these three completely random people chat for two hours straight about their own beliefs. Here’s a tip, don’t skip over the Quip ads! Those are personalized to the show!

Murder (Serious): Murder is scary and very serious. Follow a woman with too much free time as she delves into one of the many, many cold case files in this country. Listen to her interview neighbors, friends, the one guy who so obviously did it, and police officers as she tries to solve the case no one ever could. Spoiler alert: she most certainly does not.

Murder (Funny): Murder is very scary and serious, but also kind of hilarious? Join two middle-aged women as they goof on corpses from the most famous murder stories. They might also just start doing ghost stories because, I don’t know, why not?

Young Adults Talking About Casual Sex: These two girls are fresh out of college and are amped to compare penises they’ve seen. Zone out to the voices on top of voices debating which of their ex-boyfriends sucks the most while you mindlessly swipe on your own Tinder account. Whoa, how did two hours pass? And why do you suddenly understand the appeal of Hinge?

News: The Podcast!: Who has time too read the news when you can listen to it! Hear firsthand what the American people think about the president, what conservative folks think about liberals, and what liberal people think of other liberals. (Politics and events from international parties not included.)

Improv Comedy, For Some Reason: Have you ever wanted to watch improv comedy? No? Well, how about listening to it for two hours at a time! Oh, still no? What if I told you they do songs and have guests and character—oh not at all? It’s actually a really creative medium and—no I get it. Totally fine, just moving right on then.

You Forgot Your Headphones and Can Now Hear the World Around You: Shuffling, complaining, people cracking their knuckles in public. A mom yells at her kids for pointing at a homeless man on the subway. You miss your stop because you were distracted by your own thoughts and opinions. Should you start a podcast?

Your Own Podcast: Grown adults with microphones describing their favorite sandwiches in detail.