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Not one of you has had to pelt us with birdseed to send us off on a week-long Belizean sexfest. We’ll settle for a fancy waste receptacle.
And nothing says “you’re in a safe space” like warm water, the hum of the exhaust fan, and my decrepit bottles of Selsun Blue Medicated Maximum Strength Anti-Dandruff Shampoo.
What is the schedule for the weekly emptying of the communal slop bucket---do we each take turns?
Parenting You has left us with many core competencies that translate perfectly in the AI sphere.
Hey, does anyone have an EpiPen?
Let me explain how my bespoke packages can help you make your colonoscopy not merely a procedure, but a celebration.
No one from the board of directors or human resources can accuse me of gross negligence while I’m taking a peaceful carriage ride.
Don’t get me wrong, the being rich part is great. Unfortunately, my fridge blends into the kitchen’s design too well.
I know you are all about fighting with honor, much in the same way the NBA is all about the integrity of the game.
I pull an Oreo out of my pocket, smash it with both hands, and shout a zinger that leads to a standing ovation.
But we do maintain strict adherence to Rome’s Four Cardinal Virtues: Stoicism, Beauty, Justice, and the most important one of all—Orgies.
Somewhere we don’t have to think about all these people staring at us and deciding whether I’m “guilty” or “innocent.”