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Shit, Jeff. I'm dead on my feet, bro. I'm exhausted. I want to go back to the Village with the guys and get some sleep and pretend this never happened.
By night, Dick Peter Johnson roams the streets of skid row, the halls of prisons, and the cul-de-sacs of suburbia in search of the scumbags. By day, he dresses as Penisman.
They're new, they're obscure, they don't even exist. But that doesn't stop me from sharing these five bands and their upcoming albums with you.
Six ways to ascertain if the discussion among politically active millennial women has slipped into an irreversible and possibly dangerous state of mind-numbing dullness.
Though his superior respiratory system makes him the perfect specimen in and out of a Speedo, there are, however, still some things I can do that Michael Phelps can't.
Ladies, there's more to urinating than unleashing, draining, and calling it a day. Here's a short guide to six ways he pees that you may not know about.
A potentially devastating terrorist attack on Maracana Stadium is thwarted when Usain Bolt reaches out to ISIS leaders and makes things right.
Kermit and Miss Piggy's feud began in 1980, when she found out that he starred in a Trident gum commercial without her. Since then, things have been sticky.
Seven ways to use your God-given ability to produce weaponized shitclouds for personal satisfaction and enjoyment in the workplace.
When tasting a wine, I like to start three feet away from the wine glass and write down my first impressions from my eyes and beloved, all-telling nose.
I had forgotten one important factor that may determine the outcome of my business: when it comes to work, I suffer from dissociative identity disorder.
Donald Trump believes that people will forget what you’ve said, they’ll forget what you did, but they won’t forget a 1,000 mile border wall. You love this man, and so do I.