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People are staring at each other, unblinkingly, completely nude. No turning away politely, just unabashedly staring. Why are we doing this? Why on earth are we here?
We’ve all been there, sitting on the toilet, ass bleeding, thinking, “Why me? What the hell did I do/eat to deserve this?”
For every young gazelle killed by a lion for food, a puppy, too, must also be sacrificially exsanguinated by Steve Bannon to the Dark King of Babylon.
I have standards, and I hold myself in high regard when it comes to the ethics of who's going to spit shine my three wood.
The Jews are so good, they almost remind me of myself. Always dealing. So I keep Jared right next to me. Keeping an eye on him.
My tuxedo-clad sperm steward Rene greeted me in French and explained, “All of our top grade sperme de France is aged to perfection."
In just three days in prison I've learned so much, made and lost friends, gained literal and emotional scars, and grown as a person. These next 728 days should be a breeze.
One look into Stein's past would have revealed some big clues to the total disaster wrought upon our country due to her very presence.
After 30 great years, we’ve decided to scale back our breastaurant theme and make the transition to one of a more family-friendly restaurant.
I'll lay it down for you real quick: the secret reason why you need to cover your mouth when you yawn is a spooky, ghoulish man named Poppin' Pete.
Though I may only be a tiny, saber-tooth squirrel, I beg you, hear my squeaky voice. I am tired and broken, and I miss my family. Don't do this to me again.
As you guys know, our friend, companion, Supreme Autocrat, and dynamite singer Kim Jong-Un is having a birthday in a few weeks. What are you guys' thoughts on a party?