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You kids have so much in common. He loves dogs, too. He just can’t be in the same room with them. He’s highly allergic. To everything.
I also have a picture of the two of us on my phone so you know exactly how similar we look.
Who better to replace dad than a late night comedy host, who is charismatic, funny, and probably screams at their unpaid interns?
Where are all the people who keep saying you look like Dr. Evil? Who cares! You have to survive a -40 degree blizzard by finding a cave to sleep in!
“Quierrro ceviche,” I purr and raise an eyebrow. “Ok, one ceviche coming right up,” He responds in English. Haha! He’s fun and must stop flirting!
Cleanse your washing machine: In the drum, tumble one medium-sized bushel of dried sage, rosemary, and lavender on your delicates cycle.
Who faced more adversity than when Elizabeth was defrauding people based on an invention that was scientifically impossible? No one, that’s who.
Seth Meyers: "Lorne and his cavalry cast a weighted net over me and dragged me away on a dirt road. I knew my life was about to change forever."
There's no curve in this class. Curves are “the hammock that lulls able-bodied students into dependence and complacency, draining their will.”
Jesus, Herod, Judas, and John the Baptist were the One Direction of the Roman Empire, with their feuds, alliances and grooming choices.
I’m outside now, walking to the nearby pizza shop. There are people everywhere, so many of them, crawling all over the place.
Hey now. Don’t give me that look. We’re still a team, fellas. I’m a valued member of this crew, just as important as everybody else.