Daily funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. Best of Year | Editors' Picks | People's Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
As we are the first of our species to inspect this planet called Earth, we have sent guides back to our home-world to teach our people how to deal with…
Sitting at a bar alone chewing mint gum while sipping a fruity drink is the ideal thing for a confident person to do at a party.
Her nipples were like CD-ROMS, perfectly circular, and any man could see themselves in them.
I only had one thing a female jail junkie would want: A bobby pin. Tiffany’s eyes widened with excitement and offered food.
Our love blossomed with the speed of a carefully edited, 30-second commercial for prescription diarrhea medicine.
Could we reschedule our 3:00? A rift between this world and the next has opened in the conference room, and we can’t hear client calls over the endless torture of the damned.
I’ve made up the bed for you with clean sheets. All of my greatest wishes and darkest thoughts have laid across my mattress.
I've been informed me that the "sour ground" is the result of eldritch horrors, but in today's economy, you have to play the cards you're dealt.
Things got worse after I said my favorite R.E.M. song was “Shiny Happy People.” He got so angry that I thought his slim body was going to overheat.
Finally a solution to your social single anxiety! "Bacchus’ Mission" delivers a man in a tiny vessel that you can toss in your freezer until a party.
Remind the IRS of simpler tax days. Create an apology collage out of all the old receipts you filed when you first entered the workforce.
What do we mean when we say that we’ve “read a book?” Do we mean that we've purchased the book, never cracked it, and had forgotten it existed?