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I honestly don’t know what I did before I conquered the Choff Quadrant and seized their Time Hex, sending them into a thousand years of chaotic darkness.
A 30-Inch Footprint That I Touched and Then Tasted So I Could Begin Tracking Ronald: Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to murmur, “He’s near…”
Capital Confusion: Throughout its history, the “Naughty Otty Empire” had FIVE capitals: Söğüt, Nicea, Bursa, Adrianople, and Constantinople.
Cleveland is nothing if not unique. Have you ever BEEN to Cleveland’s own franchise, the Harry Buffalo Saloon?
I respect the State of California’s 100-yard rule, and I value precision, which is why I bought one hundred yardsticks at Home Depot.
Suddenly, I was all she could talk about: “He’s been compared to a modern-day Brando, you know,” I overheard her telling her sister on the phone.
With your current design, there’s no way to know if someone is approaching. I don’t think a homeowner should ever put himself in a situation like that.
‘Twas something of a bloodbath, all told, but was this not what thou asked for? Well, Happy Father’s Day.
Haven't done much birdwatching lately. Birdfeeder full of bird shit. Ex-wife and Rick going strong.
Turn on a television set in a dark room, dial into a channel that only plays static, and place both your palms against the glass.
If you’re out-of-your-mind blackout wasted, prefrontal cortex operating at 0% capacity, contacting your ex is a fine way to direct your endorphins.
One credit card point can be worth 1.3 to 1.7 cents. I tried explaining this to my wife, but she was on a work call and I don’t think she really took it in.