Anyone who’s been through a breakup has experienced the ensuing relentless thought of contacting their ex. You usually shouldn’t act on this compulsion, but there are some reasonable exceptions! If you’re tired of checking in with your friends to see if it’s okay to hit up your ex, you can instead refer to this list of six times it is truly okay to contact them.
You’re wildly drunk.
If you’re only a little bit tipsy, you can probably channel your energy into something else, like dancing or cleaning your kitchen. But if you’re out-of-your-mind blackout wasted, prefrontal cortex operating at 0% capacity, contacting your ex is a fine way to direct your endorphins. It’s better than jumping off the roof or starting another fight with your roommate about her dog, right?
You had a weird dream about them.
Picture this: it’s six in the morning, and you’ve just snapped awake having dreamt of them shape-shifting as a chameleon who is also supposed to be your waiter in a restaurant underwater. You obviously have to inform them. You should try to at least wait until it’s their lunch break at work, but if the dream was truly wacky, calling at any ol’ hour makes sense—this is urgent information! Seeing your name pop up on their phone after months of no contact will likely lead them to believe it’s a devastating emergency, so they’ll actually be relieved and jovial upon learning you just had some weird dream.
You need someone to remind you to call the vet later that week.
You could set an alarm on your phone, but sometimes you dismiss those before reading what they’re even for, so that might not work out. So if they could just contact you one more time after this to remind you to call the vet later this week, that would be awesome! And no, this doesn’t count as “getting back into a routine of talking,” and it’s not a slippery slope, and their new partner should understand why this is necessary and fine!
Look, you don’t need a “specific reason” to call your ex. If you find yourself restless and in need of a Sunday afternoon activity, calling up your ex would certainly provide entertainment. You guys used to laugh together all the time, didn’t you? No reason you can’t do that again right now after a few months of having not looked in each other’s direction.
You just ate a sandwich and it wasn’t the best, which was kind of disappointing.
You know what I mean? Like it just didn’t really hit the spot, and it was what I thought I wanted, but then it wasn’t, and it was kind of a letdown and– No please, I’m almost done explaining, you’re the only one who would get what I’m saying, give me thirty more seconds–
You feel like it.
I probably should have started with this one: If you feel like contacting your ex, you totally can and should. There are almost no drawbacks: you want something and you get it immediately. The gratification in this one is insanely unbeatable. The repercussions are also likely unbeatable, but you can just cross that bridge when you get there.
This list is not exhaustive—surely there are at least fifteen other times it would be okay to contact your ex after you both decided you’re the worst thing to have happened to each other in your whole entire lives and then blocked each other on all social media. See an interesting bug on the sidewalk? Send them a photo. Can’t remember if you’re allergic to rosemary or thyme? Hit their line. You know your toxic relationship better than anyone else, meaning only you can determine when the time is ripe to momentarily invite their insanity back into your life.