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I am going to yell into a pillow. I am going to scream in an empty car. I am going to throw a full tantrum in the grocery store cereal aisle.
I think I can muster up just enough strength to go put the gardening tools away but that’s about it. Just give me a second while I try to stand up.
February 1: Someone told me the ice cream bowl was basically just a cone. Total hater.
The word was poised to leap out of my mouth. I could feel the word coming loose from whatever papillae it had stepped in.
Larry took long walks where he bore a smug, knowing smile as he passed this editor’s house and looked upon the decrepit, unkempt lawn.
I didn’t bring my resume with me but here you go: hahahahahhaa. See, I’m good.
“Yankee Stadium?” I said, pointing towards the castle below. “Camelot,” he replied. “What the fuck,” I said.
5:00 AM – Catching the sunrise? Driving to hockey practice? This is the third least-late time ever invented!
Before Lex Luthor’s hedge fund bought us out and we started reporting only by telephone, I loved running to crime scenes.
Oh McNo. I’m not McFeeling so McWell. My McVision is all McBlurred and I have a McPain in my McAbdomen.
“YIKES” Really? Of the 2,309 possible Wordle solutions out there, this is not the one we would have picked to say to our partner.
Fight back by repeating daily affirmations—"I am good enough"—or by taking off a shoe and whipping it at the gremlin’s head.