Oh McNo. I’m not McFeeling so McWell. I McThink it McMight’ve been that McChicken. My McVision is all McBlurred and I have a McPain in my McAbdomen.

What do McYou think? Do I seem McFine? Is there anything McWrong with the McWay I’m McBehaving or McSpeaking? I McKnow you’re not a McLicensed professional but I’m McGetting really McWorried so please McTell me if you McNoticed McAnything.

I’m McSorry, I must’ve McMissed what you were McSaying. McCould you McRepeat it? McThank you. McMaybe there’s something McWrong with McMy hearing. I can’t McUnderstand a McWord you’re saying. It’s all McGibberish.

I McKnow we’re having a McDifficult time McUnderstanding each other but McCan you drive me to the McHospital? I’m losing McFeeling in my McHands, my McNail beds are McBlue, and the McRoom is McSpinning.

I McWouldn’t McDrink McThat McCafe or take a McBite of that McMuffin. It McCould McHappen to McYou next. McTrust me. I McWouldn’t McWish this McFeeling on McAnyone so I McDefinitely won’t McSit here and McWatch you do it to McYourself.

I’m McNot this kind’ve McPerson but I feel like this is McGrounds for a McLawsuit. It’s to the McPoint where I feel I McMay be entitled to McFinancial McCompensation. I McKnow some McPeople just do it for McMoney but I really don’t feel McWell. I need some McWater, maybe a wet McTowel for my McForehead, and a McLawyers phone McNumber.

Why are McWe McDriving McToward the Ronald McDonald House? I said I McNeed to go to the McHospital. This is a McDonald’s-funded hospital for McTerminally McIll McChildren. I’m Mc24 years old. What aren’t you McUnderstanding?

You McKnow McWhat, just McCall my McDoctor and put him on McSpeaker. I don’t McThink I’m McGoing to McMake it.

Hello, McDoctor? Yes, I McAte a McChicken and now I McFeel like I’m going to McDie. Besides McThat, McSomething else McJust feels… McOff. Especially McWhen I’m McTalking. There’s a McDisconnection between McWhat I’m McThinking and the McWords I’m McSaying. What’s McYour McProfessional McOpinion from McHearing me over the McPhone?

McHello? Is he McSpeechless or did he McHang up? McWhy McDid McHe hang McUp?

Everyone’s McActing like I’m McSpeaking in a McDifferent McLanguage all of a McSudden. It’s as if a McSide effect to my McFood poisoning is a McSpeech impairment that McMakes it McDifficult to McCommunicate with McOthers not McSuffering from the same McIllness.

Oh McGod. Here comes the McPain again McShooting through my McBody. I think I McNeed my McStomach pumped. But it’s too McLate. It’s McTaking me this McTime. The McBlackness is McClosing in around McMe. I McThink this is McIt.

I can McSee all the McDonald’s McCharacters seated around a big McTable in the McSky McBeckoning me toward McThem. I’m McTelling them I’m McReady to McJoin them McForever. Now, Grimace is McSpeaking up. He has McSomething to McSay. He says McThat it’s not my McTime and my McTime will come in good McTime. They’re McFading away.

McWoah. I’m McAlive. I’ve Been McSpared by Grimace. Now McThat I’ve had a McSign from the McHeavens, I think I McKnow What I McOughta do. I’ve had a McSudden McChange of McHeart.

I McThink we McShould go McBack to McDonald’s. Now, before you say, “I am not McLetting you do McThat,” or, “I McThought that McFood almost just McKilled you,” I’ll tell you McWhat I’m McThinking. I’m McThinking this “McSymptom” is McMore of a McByproduct of McNot McEating enough McDonald’s. McHear me McOut. When you McTake a McRound of McAntibiotics and McYou McFeel better McHalfway McThrough, you’re still McSupposed to take the McRest of the McAntibiotics McBecause not McTaking the McRemainder McMight McDo McSerious McDamage.

And McWhen it McComes to McEating McDonald’s this McMorning, I McLeft a lot of uneaten McFood on the McMenu.

McBesides, why McWould I McDeprive McMyself of McDonald’s at a McTime when McDonald’s McNeeds me McMost? It’s 1:45 McWhich McMeans it’s the McEnd of their McLunch McRush and McBusiness is McSlow and McSo it McWould be McReally McGood to get McLunch McRight now to McSupport the McLocal McBusiness and then McCome back McAgain McLater for McDinner too. McPlus the McLine will be McShorter.

Sounds McWeird to McYou but there're three McMeals in a McDay and I McOnly McHad one McWhich means my McNutritional cycle is McIncomplete. That’s not McEven including McSnacks and McDrinks and McSides and McA McLa McCarte items and McSomething to McNosh on and McSomething to wet my McWhistle and other McNourishment, McSustenance, and McCuisine.

And I McThink that’s what’s McCreating these McIssues I’m McExperiencing. Not McGluttony or the McMystery McMeat or the McRumored McMicroplastics in the McFood or the McFact that I McFeel like McCrap after I McEat it or the McFact that I have McViolent McMurder McDreams every McNight after I McEat it. McNone of McThat. It’s the McFact that I’m McLetting all those McNegative McElements McDistract me from the McPositive McAspects. McNamely, the McFact that my McBody McNeeds it and McLikes to McTell me in McSome McLife-threatening McWays.