Do you know what I mean when I say, “I know, right?” No? Right, let me help.

This go-to daily expression is indispensable to any communication style, and useful in conversations with people in a variety of situations.

I agree

How humiliating to spill coffee on your crotch. I know, right? I’m going to pretend I don’t see it. You can hardly tell. Only if you’re staring, and I swear I wasn’t staring, ha ha! Did you want me to? No, no, right, I know. It’s just that those pants are light khaki, and the coffee was dark roast.

Listen, it’s barely there. We are on the same page. You look great today, did I say that already? Attractive, but not too attractive. I only noticed the spot because you pointed it out. Like a tiny pee stain, one I’m not looking at.

Anger coupled with lack of remorse for past actions

I reject this latest law school rejection. As if they had better candidates. Hey, when they called for a reference, did you happen to mention the meat slicer incident when I worked at the deli counter? I swear I never said “put your thumb here” to that kid, even if that’s exactly what the video sounded like. I said, “What a dumb year.” I know, right? Could’ve happened to anyone.

The upside is, once I’m a lawyer, I’ll have practical experience from being sued.

So much sympathy

Lost your job and your favorite uncle? What’s next, repossession of your car? Oh. Sorry about the Accord. And sorry you had to reschedule the funeral because of COVID-19 restrictions.

No, I know I said I’d be there, right, but we’ve been waiting all year for FunTimeZone to reopen, and we have a non-refundable reservation for All-U-Can-Bounce. You know how they are, right? I mean, before they fired you. Condolences on your job, car, and uncle. I know, right? What a dumb year, as I like to say.

Could you record the memorial and send a link? Thanks so much.

I am depressed and so are you

Right: I know about your aversion to dairy. We’ve talked about it at length. But could you not? Talk about it? Anymore? The repetition gives off this very spoiled energy. You sound kind of down, to be honest, and that negativity spreads like brie. Which you can’t have, sorry. Do you know what I’m saying? About the repetition? It’s very off-putting; do you know what I mean? Change is hard. It’s why I don’t like cover songs, even when they’re done well. “Freebird” was perfect the first time. I know, right? It’s like, “Never change, bird!”

I don’t know

Look, I’m no expert on reverse mortgages, koala rehabilitation, or South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho, but I would like to sleep with my mortgage broker, keep my job at the koala rehabilitation facility, and order at this drive-thru window. Ignore the fact that I have nothing to contribute when I say, “I know, right?” Play along as if I’m keeping up my side of the conversation.

By the way, it’s barely noticeable, but I think you have a little pee stain on your crotch. I know, right, of course it’s coffee. Right.


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