Congratulations! Someone has subscribed you to the email newsletter for Bernie Man, Vermont's newest, largest, and oldest outdoor political festival.
Bernie Man was created in late 2016 by a group of tech entrepreneurs and cryptocurrency speculators. Since then we've held three more festivals, each more recent than the last.
Taking place each spring break at Vermont's Camel's Hump State Park, Bernie Man is a convocation of support, agreement, trust, mindfulness, harmony, and vloggers. For a full week, our attendees' tents form a temporary city we call Little Burlington. There you'll find the largest collection of communal podcasting spaces, everyday carry photographers, and disaster prepper theorists among the radical center-left.
Some of our most popular attractions from past festivals include Soylent breweries, meme-hacking spaces, and, by state law, a Ben & Jerry's.
Diversity isn't just a buzzword at Bernie Man, it's also tolerated. Our attendees are programmers from Silicon Valley, coders from New York City, freelance web developers from across the Pittsburgh tech corridor, and many other white, male, middle-to-upper-middle class knowledge workers.
This isn't to say that Bernie Man is completely male-dominated. On the contrary, women are welcome to come and listen to our feminist legislative proposals.
Due to our incredible volunteers and Reddit spambots, Bernie Man has quickly gained recognition as a wellspring of liberal political thought, community support, and inventive combinations of premium ice cream and mix-ins.
Like the male Founding Fathers, we know that we are stronger together. While wealthy Republicans have a tenuous alliance born of self-interest, we are united by our convictions, ideals, and crushing student loan debt.
We're proud to announce this year's non-denominational invocation for Bernie Man will be given by the little bird who landed on Bernie's podium during the campaign.
Early registrants for the festival will receive priority seating for our beloved “Actually, It's Pronounced ‘Actually'” symposium. Prepared remarks for the symposium are scheduled to run 90 minutes, attendees should plan for an additional two hours of audience statements posed as questions.
Self-care and mental health are important aspects of political resistance, which is why we're introducing the Bernie Bubble. All attendees are welcome in this glass and steel geodesic dome for support, good vibes, and any flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Bubble amenities include all-hours yoga classes, close-up magicians, and Christian close-up magicians.
Because of our uniquely supportive community, some couples choose to get married in Little Burlington. Send an email to weddings@bernieman.org for help with logistics. Please contact us early, because all Vermont marriages must be witnessed by a Ben & Jerry's employee.
Finally, please sign our petition to demand that the DNC bar candidates with moral or ethical conflicts of interest. It's critical to make our voices heard and reject candidates beholden to big business. Add your name now to receive a discount code for 20% off all Ben & Jerry's pints.
Follow us on Mastodon, the open source alternative to Twitter.
To unsubscribe from this newsletter, click the link below. However, you will miss out on our Bernie Sanders alerts and our series of guided meditations for Node.js wizards.