The 12 Months of Midwestern Winter
May: The Memento effect begins to set in as the temperature starts to go up. You start to hear people say things like "Winter wasn’t even that bad."
Tag: Jobs
Alternative Career Paths for Superheroes with Newly Discovered Wealth
Superman, now able to construct luxury buildings in a single bound, becomes the most powerful contributor to Metropolis’s rampant gentrification.
I Opened This Neighborhood Florist Shop Because I’m Thirsty for Power and You, My Employees, Better Be, Too
Here at Barb’s, we think big. We think brutal. We think volume-discounted wholesale gladiola bulbs.
Subtle Modifications to Make When Your Work Conference Goes Virtual
During the ten-minute break between sessions, line up your children's stuffed animals in a giant single-file line leading directly to the bathroom.
Heyo! I’m Your Bumbling Husband and I’m Here to Take Out the Recycling During Your Zoom Meeting
Forgot I ate three cans of soup (Tuscan white bean, if you were wondering) last night and also decided to get rid of my old tambourine collection.
Mark My Words, If You Don’t Finish This Last Job, I’m Going to Kill You and Everyone You Love
Your parents’ casual acquaintances, who they always promise to make plans with but never do. Your parents’ parents, if they’re like, still around.
Our Company Is One Big Family, If Families Laid Off 30% of Their Family Members
It's truly killing me that our family's goals for next year don't seem to include your position and your services will no longer be needed here.
Ten Targeted Ads That Were Too Targeted
Press mute on unsettling thoughts like this by turning up the volume on a new pair of Beats by Dr. Dre.
Wanted: Competent Mattress Store Employee
Seriously, I cannot keep having these sales, because the last guy just bought a bajillion mattresses and we had no idea what to do with them.
In Defense of Gap Years… Unless You Want to Hire Me
A gap year will help to make me the man I want to be. Unless you are planning to hire me, in which case: STOP READING. GIVE ME THE JOB.
2020 Onboarding 2021
“Yo! You must be the new year!?” said 2020, seeming to come out of nowhere. “Welcome to Calendar Corp."
What the Job Description for an Unpaid Internship Says vs. What It Means
We will reach out to you if your qualifications meet our needs. / We will reach out to you if your needs are met by your parents.