Dear Registered Voter of the State of Texas,
You are receiving this notice because our system reports that you cast a ballot for the US midterm election on November 6, 2018. Due to what seems to be a minor technical malfunction on our end, a range of these votes were inaccurately reported, and it appears that your vote has accidentally been cast for Gritty, the orange mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers.
As you have been previously alerted, there was a brief kerfuffle during early voting in which straight-ticket ballots for Ted Cruz and Beto O'Rourke became mixed up in our system due to voting machine malfunctions. This is not that incident. This is a different incident in which “Gritty” has been added as a write-in candidate by an unknown hand (or hands), for all positions.
Regrettably, this error has affected between four and six million votes in the state of Texas, resulting in Gritty becoming a surprise frontrunner.
We are investigating all avenues that could have been exploited electronically in our system, however, since no signs of hacking have appeared, it is possible that the voting machines themselves were designed with this subterfuge specifically in mind. We are currently cooperating with federal intelligence agencies, as well as the Philadelphia Flyers, to resolve this issue as quickly as possible.
These events are particularly disturbing given that we do not know Gritty's political party, nor is he a resident of the state of Texas. Truthfully, it is unclear whether or not Gritty even holds US citizenship. The only thing that IS clear is that Gritty the mascot has become the first individual in US History to simultaneously be elected to the US House and Senate (District 7), as well as the State Comptroller of Public Accounts.
If evidence of voter fraud is not uncovered, we will be forced to accept that between 4-6 million Texans have written in Gritty as part of an unprecedented grassroots swell of support. From a campaign finance perspective, this would also be an anomaly, as no funds were allocated to Gritty’s candidacy aside from the Flyers’ marketing budget for the 2018-2019 season.
We encourage anyone with information regarding this matter to come forward, so we can begin the process of legally arranging a recount and/or special election. Thank you for your cooperation during this dark chapter in our state's history.
Until then, Go Flyers.
The Office of the Texas Secretary of State