1. When you wake up, you notice there’s a bit of barf on one of the pillows and you’re not sure whose it is.

2. There doesn’t seem to be any reason to get dressed.

3. One minute you are fuming with rage at your companion and the next minute you are madly in love with him.

4. There is a lot of hysterical screaming, crying and laughing. No real reason for any of it.

5. By about 10:00 AM you feel like you could use a drink.

6. You admit to yourself around lunchtime that there’s no way you’re going to get any work done today, then lie to yourself that you’ll get a lot done tomorrow.

7. You lose your balance easily.

8. You’re in no condition to drive. But it would be even more dangerous to let your companion do it.

9. It takes you half an hour to find your car keys.

10. It takes your companion half an hour to put on his shoes.

11. Whenever it was you last took a shower, you didn’t get all the peanut butter out of your hair.

12. You think of being alone in one room for more than an hour, without interruption, as a kind of vacation.

13. Late in the day, you realize that your shirt is on inside-out.

14. You stand in front of the open refrigerator in a trance for about ten minutes before remembering that what you need is a spoon and you don’t keep spoons in the refrigerator.

15. The dinner you made is a gross mess, unrecognizable as food.

16. You can’t follow the plot of an animated children’s movie.

17. You pass out with the lights on.

Single Parent During a Pandemic: 1 – 17
Alcoholic: 1 – 17