Jesse G.
one star

I usually never write reviews, but I just want to say that I love coming to see the orb. All hail the orb!


Margaret Q.
one star
This place is a gem! I mean, not an actual gem—it's an orb, and I'm obsessed with it. All hail the orb!


Bernice
one star
My husband and I have been coming to see the orb every day for the past 6 years. Some people say if you look at it directly, it controls your mind and makes you worship it. Never bothered me!

Response from Raginmund Keeper of the Orb
Orb Management
Thanks, Bernice! We love having you here.


Doug M.
one star
One star because they don't sell snacks. I got so hangry, I ate part of the orb. Taste was awful.

Response from Raginmund Keeper of the Orb
Orb Management
The orb is not for eating! Please contact us immediately.


Todd F.
one star
Things went downhill after that guy ate the orb.

Response from Raginmund Keeper of the Orb
Orb Management
The Orb has been restored to its original glory! Come try us again.


Billy M.
one star
I know Raginmund says the orb was fixed, but it looks like someone just covered it up with paper maché and spray painted it. I’m giving three stars because I kind of want to worship the orb, but not every day, only on important orb holidays.


The Ragin-man K.O.T.O.
one star
Wow, I never heard of this orb before today. Definitely gets five stars for being an amazing orb and definitely does not look like Raginmund Keeper of the Orb tried to fix it with paper maché. Everyone should come check it out and stare at it directly.


Curtis D.
one star
I really wanted to like this place, but the orb barely even glows. It’s more like a faint glimmer. If you’re looking for an object to worship, that guy Doug inherited magical powers after eating part of the orb and he just summoned a floating obelisk across the street. Definitely worth checking out.

Response from Raginmund Keeper of the Orb
Orb Management
Look everybody- there’s no magic going on here. That guy Doug was probably magic before he foolishly ate the orb. Come back and take another look, only get really really close next time. I guarantee you’ll love the orb (but don’t eat).


Kathy C.
one star
Fully agree with what Curtis said. Doug’s Floating Obelisk is so much better than the orb. People worship it willingly. Makes me want to eat a piece of the orb so I can have magic powers.


Ken F.
one star
It’s official—this orb sucks. It just sits there not floating. All hail Doug’s Floating Obelisk!

Response from Raginmund Keeper of the Orb
Orb Management
The orb can float if we want it to. Some people happen to think floating objects are super gimmicky, and whoever has them is trying too hard.


Andre S.
one star
Doug’s is where it’s at. Someone should put this place out of its misery and eat the rest of the orb.


Diane T.
one star
What the hell happened here? There’s a giant 12-foot barb wire fence surrounding the orb. You can barely see it behind all of the “Do not eat” signs. I’ll be taking my business to Doug’s from now on.


Elizabeth J.
one star
Wow, I don’t know if anybody saw this in the news, but this place shut down after a huge scene between Raginmund and Doug’s Floating Obelisk. Raginmund accused Doug of stealing his followers and Doug’s people responded by rushing the fence that protects the orb. Raginmund wasn’t having any of it and just ate the entire orb in front of everybody. I’m not sure if his goal was to protect the orb from the people, or if he wanted to inherit magical powers, but once the orb made it to his stomach, Raginmund exploded into glowing orb dust. Guess that makes Doug’s Floating Obelisk the only spot in town now.


Phoebe D.
one star
So sad to see this place closed. Really loved the orb.

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