Kid: Mama, you’re so pretty!
Me: Thank you!
Kid: But why do you have so many holes in your face? It looks like you were hit by a ton of tiny asteroids.

Kid: You’re the best Mama in the world!
Me: Thank you!
Kid: Well, you’re the best Mama in this family for sure.

Kid: Mama, you’re second on my list of things I’m thankful for!
Me: Wow! What’s first?
Kid: Pizza.

Kid: Can I play on the iPad?
Me: You can at 5:30; you know the rules.
Kid: It’s 5:28; don’t you know how to round up?

Kid: Your hair looks nice today, Mama!
Me: Thank you!
Kid: But how come your hair is so much more gray than everyone else's?

Kid: My friend takes out his hearing aids when he needs a break from listening.
Mom: Wow, really?
Kid: I wish I could do that with you.

Kid: *growls*
Me: Are you a dog?
Kid: I'm pretending I'm a growling duck!
Me: I didn't know ducks growl?
Kid: Duh—I'm PRETENDING!

Kid: I like your new shirt, Mama!
Me: Thanks!
Kid: I like how it makes you look like you have a big baby in your belly.

Kid: Good dinner, Mama!
Me: I'm glad you liked it!
Kid: I like when you cook instead of Daddy because then we get to eat stuff from a box.

Kid: Mama, you’re my favorite!
Me: Well, you’re my favorite!
Kid: When you die can I have your phone?

Kid: I want to go to Target and get you a birthday present!
Me: That's so sweet, thank you!
Kid: I'm going to get you something for ladies, like a really big t-shirt.

Kid: I love you, Mama!
Me: Love you too!
Kid: I hope I never get big lines under my eyes like you, though.

Kid: Mama, why do you say things you think are funny, but aren’t?


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