Dear industrialists who helped build this great nation:

It was 91 degrees for the sixth day in a row in NYC today. I step outside of my comfortable air conditioning and feel like I’m being punched in the face by a heat fist. The humidity is literally killing people — and really annoying me.

Because of you, global warming is totally fucked up. Thanks a lot douchebags. I hope your wooden-teethed wives gave your cock splinters.

So, dear powdered wig-wearing forefathers of this heat-stroked country, I wanted to tell you a special message: GET FUCKED!

Unless your one of the inventers of Air Conditioning. Then you totally rule.

Your descendent,


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